Self-Love – Page 3 – Play. Create. Discover…

Blog, Monster Monday, Self-Love, Writing

The Beast that Sleeps Best: Creative Self-Care

May 11, 2020 Kristy Fae

So I had a terrible week of sleep. In fact, I was so frustrated and miserable because of it, it was probably a good thing that my contact with people is severely limited right now. I apologize (and am grateful) to those who were subjected to the Sleepless Beast I became. It was glaringly obvious that some serious self-care was crucial if I was going to avoid literally biting heads off…

When you think about the term “self-care” it sounds super simple, doesn’t it? Oh, just take care of myself? Got it. Good. Great. For many humanoids however, self-care is a bit more of a feat than an easy or natural tendency. For those of you who have it down, awesome work— please keep it up and share your wisdom! For the rest of us, we’ll keep fumbling along, learning as we go, trying and sometimes succeeding sometimes failing, and that’s also awesome work, because we’re doing the best we can.

We’re in an interesting time right now where self-care may be needing an extra bright spotlight upon it. For some, added financial stress, for others isolation, perhaps deep loss and grief, health challenges, a hiatus of usual resources, a complete change of routine (including bedtime)… Whatever the struggles might be right now, self-care is likely ONE tool in the kit that is worth dusting off, or even taking the time to shine with an old rag.

Alas, many of our usual ways of practising self-care may have been bumped, shuffled, or knocked completely off the shelf in the midst of the planet’s turmoil. What is one to do? Self-care was hard enough already, and now we have to (almost if not) start from scratch in developing routines, practices, and whatever else to soothe ourselves? Here are my humble thoughts as I fumble through this journey myself. Also to mention, all of this can be applied to any situation or circumstance that alters life’s routines— not just during a pandemic.

Take inventory of what worked before. What were the things you relied on for stress-reduction, mindfulness, health, peace, joy, fun, connection etc. If you can’t remember, try tracing back through your previous routines, maybe even consulting friends and family, or scanning back through social media pages or old agendas to jog your memory. What are you missing the most? What were the biggest pieces for you? I suggest you brainstorm it on paper…
Take a new inventory of what you need now. A lot has changed, so your needs may very well have changed too. Maybe you used to consider “quiet-time” a necessity for self-care because your calendar was so full of social events you had to schedule in your well-needed you-time. Now, maybe the opposite is true, and you’re needing to more actively find ways to connect with others because the you-time is ahhhh-plenty. What is your heart, mind, body, and soul needing right now? Try keeping a journal throughout a day or two to note what you are lacking, needing, feeling, frustrated with, enjoying, etc. What thoughts are you noticing? What sensations are happening in your body? What are your tendencies and how do they make you feel? These noticings might give you clues to your deeper longings. A mindfulness or meditation practice may also be very helpful in revealing what your needs truly are. In any case, really notice and feel in. Dig deep!
Get creative. Now we’re getting to the (hopefully) really fun stuff. Based on what you discovered in the first two steps, you can combine old and new self-care options to do the best you can to fulfill your current needs. If some of your beloved go-tos are not available right now, what substitutes can be made? If you relied on going to the gym to stay healthy and manage stress, perhaps you can instead try some outdoor activities or a home workout routine (there are plenty online or using apps!). The point is, find new ways of taking care of you. And I’m not just talking about easy or common sense ways— getting really creative might be needed, or at least benefited from. Look at your unique skills and strengths, your outside-the-box thinking, your heart’s deepest passions. I can’t tell you what these things are for you, but try asking yourself questions like: “What really makes me tick? What have I always wanted to do or try? Why haven’t I made time to do x, y, or z from that dust-gathering to-do list? Why did I ever stop doing (fill in the blank)? How can I make even one step of a goal or dream come true despite any current limitations? What can I do to bring some peace into my life right now? How can I solve that problem with what I already have? What do I know deep down that I’m needing?” The list goes on…but get curious and start looking under rocks, so to speak. Unless you’re on the beach, then looking under rocks might actually provide you with some new insight or surprising discoveries 😉

Let’s get back to the Beast. After the sleepless nights had accumulated to a gruesome mass, I decided I needed to put my creative self-love problem-solving cap on. I was missing the water therapy of my usual pool visits, my mind was cluttered from being alone with them too much, my bedtimes were all over the place with a lack of any sort of schedule, and the changing seasons had brought sunshine onto my eyelids earlier than I could cope with in the mornings…I set about on a rampage to destroy (or rather gently resolve in a zen way) these troubling problems.

I planned an at-home spa retreat. I reorganized and decluttered my apartment. I started a routine of listening to zen meditation talks over morning tea. I set an alarm to remind me of bedtime. And I dug out my fabric scraps and quilted together enough pieces to make a “blackout curtain” large and thick enough to block the morning sun. The curtain proved to require a lot of creativity and effort, but was definitely worth it. Plus it also got me excited about a number of other sewing projects I have waiting for the needle and thread (including a puppet from last week’s blog, so stay tuned), which fulfills another need of mine— second only to sleep— the need for creating!

Now everything might not be perfect, but remember, every bit helps. I’m happy to say the Beast has been subdued and my sleep and ensuing moods have definitely improved. I encourage you to also look at what needs of yours are going unmet, and to creatively put them to bed as well. Please feel free to comment below to share how you’re solving your self-care feats during this time!

Be and rest well.

Thanks for reading! Also find me @artofnonsense on Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest

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Pssst- what I write in this blog is a reflection of my own ideas and experiences and/or interpretations of any referenced material. The content of this blog is for entertainment and/or informational purposes only. I am not an expert or therapist and cannot be held liable for any content provided or how it is used. Please enjoy at your own discretion. I reserve the right to change the content or management of this blog at any time. That said, I hope you enjoy it! © 2020 Kristina Durst All Rights Reserved.

Blog, Self-Help, Self-Love

The Kristy Monster: Gettin’ Silly!

March 30, 2020 Kristy Fae

Today’s blog will be short. I had a busy week working on an illustration contract, which was awesome and challenging, and now it’s time for some self-care and play. In busy times, or in times of stress, us humans know that balance is hard to maintain. We can easily slip down the slope of not prioritizing our health, our joy, and our other priorities. In the middle of a pandemic, life is definitely challenging for pretty much all of us— very little is at its “normal” for us. So just remember, amidst it all, that you can’t expect to be at your normal either. Take care of you and keep connecting with those you love. Find joy in whatever small moments or activities you can. Be easy on yourself. Give yourself the gift of space and grace and now more than ever … the gift of nonsense!

Not everything has to be so serious. Last week, I had a great play date with Mother Nature, and it did me a lot of good. I’ve attached some pictures that I hope will also inspire you— to play, to create, to do something new or different or spontaneous. Whatever it is for you that feeds your body, mind and soul in a healthy way. This week, my goal (and feel free to join me) is to bring in more play. More arts and crafts with no end goal. More terrible “Glee” re-enactments from my living room. More laughing at myself or instigating smiles with silly selfies. What will it be that brings more light to your life this week? Feel free to share with a comment or photo! Best wishes, everyone.

Thanks for reading! Also find @artofnonsense on Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest

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art, Blog, Monster Monday, Self-Love

The Peaceful Breezer: Finding Peace Amidst Chaos

March 16, 2020 Kristy Fae

If you’ve found even a bit more stress or disruption in your life than usual lately, you likely already know that you aren’t alone. Yes, the world is being impacted by COVID-19 in countless ways and I’m not here to talk about it. What I do want to discuss are the little things we can do to find peace, inspiration, grounding, and even joy when we find ourselves amidst chaotic, uncertain or confusing times— for whatever reason.

Yesterday I chose the simple act of taking a long, leisurely walk at the oceanside with a good friend. The sun was shining so brightly it sparkled on the water like a disco ball, while a seal popped his head up next to us and an eagle soared overhead. The wind was blowing the waves into a synchronized dance and scuba divers reminded us of the mysterious world that lay beneath them. The land felt at peace and, for a few hours, everything felt normal again. We couldn’t help but feel our interconnectedness with nature, the sense of how infinitesimal we humans are, and how much peace can be found by just stepping away. Away from the house. Away from the hustle and bustle. Away from routine. Away from social media and news. Away in whatever form of awayness is needed for you at any given time. By the time we left, I for one was feeling free of life’s problems, safe, in control, and enlivened— things I hadn’t felt much of all week.

When I later sat down to work on today’s artwork and blog, I could still see those beachy views in my mind’s eye: the grassy mounds in the foreground framed by stunning mountaintops and blue skies far beyond. While I had many illustrations that I “should/could” have been working on for my various projects, something from this vivid landscape was still speaking to me: whispering to the needs of my soul for further peace, freedom and trust. I knew there was a creature hiding behind the whisper but I couldn’t see her yet. But still, there she was encouraging me to gently put aside any additional pressure amidst an already stressful time; to “go with the flow” and create something just for the joy of it. I pulled out my oil pastels, a medium I rarely work in nowadays but one that I relate to a time in my younger days when I would draw for the sheer love of it, without (as much) concern for the end goal.

I knew this medium would help set me up for this “therapeutic art” session. And it worked. Instead of first sketching and perfecting the outlines of an image, I drew with the pastels directly onto the paper, trusting the permanence of the lines as I laid them down. I let it happen. I didn’t fight anything yet I felt in control. I limited expectations. I mixed colours. I smeared the oily pigments with my bare fingertips. And this is what came out— a creature seemingly born from those grassy cliffs of Ogden Point in beautiful Victoria, British Columbia. I still plan on adding in that mountain crested background another day, but for now, this Peaceful Breezer sleeps in the caress of the sun without a worry in mind. She reminds me, and anyone else who wishes to take her lead, that stepping away to enjoy life’s simplicities, trusting the flow, and letting the breeze tousle your hair can sometimes be the best thing we can do for ourselves to come back to our centre. That and turning our fingertips green with creative delight…

So let your freedom flow like the wind and allow yourself to connect to those small things that make you feel as I did, hugged between ocean and eagle, in the shimmering sunlight.

Be well everyone.

Thanks for reading and be sure to subscribe to stay up-to-date on future posts! Also find @artofnonsense on Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest

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art, Blog, Monster Monday, Monsters, Self-Love

“The Self-Love Serpent: Finding Gems in Your Blunders”

March 2, 2020 Kristy Fae

Hey everyone, I’d like you to meet the Self-Love Serpent. Self-Love Serpent, I’d like you to meet the people on the other end of the internets.

This little sweetheart has been a lesson in the making for a few different reasons, which I’d like to tell you about, but first she requires an intro. This slithering slinky is part of a project I recently started called “The Self-Love Deck for Monsters”. “The WHAT?” you ask. Think Tarot Deck, but the inspirational kind instead of traditional Tarot, and where each card features a creature with a hint of wisdom concerning self-love. Within the categories of the deck are the elemental sub-categories fire, water, air, earth, and ether. The card I sat down to work on about a month ago was “Self-Love” itself in the air element. What I first envisioned was something fuzzy and cute, swimming and swooping elegantly through the air, smiling, with a radiant heart.

What came out on paper, though, was somewhat of an unlikely candidate for the job. I was thinking of something like the flying dog from “The Neverending Story” movie, yet what materialized was…a snake? Now there’s nothing wrong with snakes, but they don’t exactly elicit a warm and fuzzy feeling for me, personally. While I don’t always have control over what my pencil does, I’m learning to trust it, so I went with it. In the end, I loved her. She was sweet, interesting, and could wrap her sleek figure around herself in a warm embrace until she had tied herself in knots of love. Her two tails, for me, represented both giving love as well as receiving it (which I’ve come to learn are two very different practices). Her scales would symbolize the multitude of aspects of herself, each which she had learned to love unconditionally. Hence was born the Self-Love Serpent. I couldn’t have planned her this well. Lesson one— trust yourself and your pencil, as strange as either’s guidance may seem at the time.

Okay, so I’m not used to drawing creatures that can pretzelize themselves, and after drawing her and falling for her, I realized (due to the feedback from a close artist friend) that I’d drawn her without much thought and her anatomy made no sense. Her twists and turns didn’t work, her spine was impossible, and her “spikes” were pointing the wrong direction on her tails… in short, she was an anatomical mess. DOH! I so liked how her lines worked as she was! But being the perfectionist that I am, I took to figuring out the puzzle of her serpentine bodice. Well, she became a gruelling group effort involving that same friend, my family and my boyfriend. We became Team-Serpent as I drew, erased, redrew her lines, until finally we got her straightened—or not so straightened— out (thanks team!). Much better! And I needed only to misplace a bit of my sanity and a few too many sleeping hours in the process… ahem. Lesson two— it’s okay to make mistakes, get feedback, and ask for help! Even (especially?) if you have to hear something you don’t like in the process.

Finally, when her lead outlines were exacted in a way that filled me with delight, as interesting lines on paper do, she was ready to paint. This became a whole other undertaking. You’d think I’d never painted before, but I’d just locked down hard on “solidifying my style” and thus was putting a lot of importance on this painting. I’ve been using gouache for a number of years now but when I consulted the aforementioned friend, she informed me that I was using the wrong medium for the style I was trying to achieve. Back I went to watercolour; a medium I’d first started using for my illustrations a decade earlier, and realized it did work better for my desired results! My homework was to play around with painting, doing so more freely and sloppily and even more outside of the lines (sorry Granny!). As someone who despises redoing things, this was tough for me, but I decided to paint multiple versions of the same picture, each as quickly as I could, to practise (see image above). Well, voila, I am getting closer and closer to what I want with my medium, style and speed of painting. Yeah yeah, practise makes perfect, right? But seriously, the slogan warrants some credit. Lesson three— don’t be afraid to break the mould, try something new, and step out of your comfort zones. You never know where it will bring you.

In the end, here she floats in all her grace: The Self-Love Serpent. And along with all her bizarreness, frustrations and imperfections, she loves herself completely— and she inspires me to do the same!

Make sure to subscribe to the Blog to stay up-to-date on “The Self-Love Deck for Monsters” project and other creative inspiration and adventures…

Also find @artofnonsense on Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest

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Blog, Monster Monday, Self-Help, Self-Improvement, Self-Love

The Gobbling Goblin: On Self-Improvement

February 10, 2020February 17, 2020 Kristy Fae

Do you ever find yourself thinking things like, “I’ll be good enough when I’m that way; loveable when I have this skill or knowledge; worthy when I land myself in such-and-such position”? If so, don’t fret, you’re one in a sea of monsters having the same malevolent thoughts.

Here’s the thing— development and growth are great, building skills can be useful, new knowledge can be insightful, and different experiences can be life-changing, but a problem arises when you start believing about such things that:

a) they will fix all of your challenges completely and immediately.

b) without them you are somehow broken or deficient and won’t be “good enough” until you’ve achieved them.

c) they are all very serious business, so you’d better crack down hard!

In these cases, you might end up like The Gobbling Goblin: gorging yourself on self-improvement until you have a belly ache and your eyes are rolling maniacally around in your head to such a point that you’re left sitting there in a daze, unable to remember what the darned feast even tasted like, thinking, “I did the work. Why’m I not good nuf yet?”

But self-improvement doesn’t work that way. We simply can’t digest growth and change in one sitting, and apply it consistently for dessert. These things take time, patience, and practice. Think of it like taste testing: try a little bit here, take another bite there, perhaps one worked for you, and another one didn’t. Maybe you dropped a few pieces on the floor or spit one inconspicuously into your napkin. It’s all okay. The point is, keep tasting. Just try not to devour the entire platter at once, and refrain from expecting the next bite to turn you into some grandiose version of yourself Alice in Wonderland style.

At the end of the day, know that you already are, and you always have been, good enough, and loveable, and worthy. So by all means, invest in learning and growing in ways that feel beneficial to you— just remember to do so gently and to enjoy your life and love yourself while you’re at it! And exploring how to do just that is exactly what this strange, monsterly, self-helpish blog is all about, so be sure to subscribe to join in on the journey…

Thanks for reading! Also find @artofnonsense on Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest

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Pssst- what I write in this blog is a reflection of my own ideas and experiences and/or interpretations of any referenced material. The content of this blog is for entertainment and/or informational purposes only. I am not an expert or therapist and cannot be held liable for any content provided or how it is used. Please enjoy at your own discretion. I reserve the right to change the content or management of this blog at any time. That said, I hope you enjoy it! © 2020 Kristina Durst All Rights Reserved.