Hey everyone, I’d like you to meet the Self-Love Serpent. Self-Love Serpent, I’d like you to meet the people on the other end of the internets.
This little sweetheart has been a lesson in the making for a few different reasons, which I’d like to tell you about, but first she requires an intro. This slithering slinky is part of a project I recently started called “The Self-Love Deck for Monsters”. “The WHAT?” you ask. Think Tarot Deck, but the inspirational kind instead of traditional Tarot, and where each card features a creature with a hint of wisdom concerning self-love. Within the categories of the deck are the elemental sub-categories fire, water, air, earth, and ether. The card I sat down to work on about a month ago was “Self-Love” itself in the air element. What I first envisioned was something fuzzy and cute, swimming and swooping elegantly through the air, smiling, with a radiant heart.
What came out on paper, though, was somewhat of an unlikely candidate for the job. I was thinking of something like the flying dog from “The Neverending Story” movie, yet what materialized was…a snake? Now there’s nothing wrong with snakes, but they don’t exactly elicit a warm and fuzzy feeling for me, personally. While I don’t always have control over what my pencil does, I’m learning to trust it, so I went with it. In the end, I loved her. She was sweet, interesting, and could wrap her sleek figure around herself in a warm embrace until she had tied herself in knots of love. Her two tails, for me, represented both giving love as well as receiving it (which I’ve come to learn are two very different practices). Her scales would symbolize the multitude of aspects of herself, each which she had learned to love unconditionally. Hence was born the Self-Love Serpent. I couldn’t have planned her this well. Lesson one— trust yourself and your pencil, as strange as either’s guidance may seem at the time.
Okay, so I’m not used to drawing creatures that can pretzelize themselves, and after drawing her and falling for her, I realized (due to the feedback from a close artist friend) that I’d drawn her without much thought and her anatomy made no sense. Her twists and turns didn’t work, her spine was impossible, and her “spikes” were pointing the wrong direction on her tails… in short, she was an anatomical mess. DOH! I so liked how her lines worked as she was! But being the perfectionist that I am, I took to figuring out the puzzle of her serpentine bodice. Well, she became a gruelling group effort involving that same friend, my family and my boyfriend. We became Team-Serpent as I drew, erased, redrew her lines, until finally we got her straightened—or not so straightened— out (thanks team!). Much better! And I needed only to misplace a bit of my sanity and a few too many sleeping hours in the process… ahem. Lesson two— it’s okay to make mistakes, get feedback, and ask for help! Even (especially?) if you have to hear something you don’t like in the process.
Finally, when her lead outlines were exacted in a way that filled me with delight, as interesting lines on paper do, she was ready to paint. This became a whole other undertaking. You’d think I’d never painted before, but I’d just locked down hard on “solidifying my style” and thus was putting a lot of importance on this painting. I’ve been using gouache for a number of years now but when I consulted the aforementioned friend, she informed me that I was using the wrong medium for the style I was trying to achieve. Back I went to watercolour; a medium I’d first started using for my illustrations a decade earlier, and realized it did work better for my desired results! My homework was to play around with painting, doing so more freely and sloppily and even more outside of the lines (sorry Granny!). As someone who despises redoing things, this was tough for me, but I decided to paint multiple versions of the same picture, each as quickly as I could, to practise (see image above). Well, voila, I am getting closer and closer to what I want with my medium, style and speed of painting. Yeah yeah, practise makes perfect, right? But seriously, the slogan warrants some credit. Lesson three— don’t be afraid to break the mould, try something new, and step out of your comfort zones. You never know where it will bring you.
In the end, here she floats in all her grace: The Self-Love Serpent. And along with all her bizarreness, frustrations and imperfections, she loves herself completely— and she inspires me to do the same!
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Pssst- what I write in this blog is a reflection of my own ideas and experiences and/or interpretations of any referenced material. The content of this blog is for entertainment and/or informational purposes only. I am not an expert or therapist and cannot be held liable for any content provided or how it is used. Please enjoy at your own discretion. I reserve the right to change the content or management of this blog at any time. That said, I hope you enjoy it! © 2020 Kristina Durst All Rights Reserved.
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