Many of us have heard the saying, “The early bird gets the worm”— but there’s much more to the tale than we were made to believe! But let’s back up for a minute…
Welcome back from the Holidays! The monsters and I from Art of Nonsense hope that everyone had a joyous season and a peaceful transition into 2024.
Yes, it’s January: the time of New Year’s Resolutions, goal setting and the mapping out of upcoming milestones. I love the fresh energy of a New Year and the “out with the old” and “letting go of things that no longer serve us” vibes. What I do NOT like, however, is the pressure and stress of living up to my newly set Resolutions or the feeling “less than” when I realize I haven’t achieved all of last year’s goals. Yes, reflection is great. Goals are great. So is reality. So is self-care, rest, fun and quality time with the people we adore. This we know, though, don’t we?
But it’s hard to remember or to live by these values when our society honours striving, pushing and, ultimately, suffering. For many of us, the more to-dos we check off our list, and the less hours we sleep per night, the more accomplished we have become engrained to feel. We’re taught that there is but one way to thrive, and if even one part is missing from that rulebook, we’ve doomed ourselves to failure. But whoever wrote these rules forgot one very critical detail: humans, like monsters, are all very different from one another. We have differences in what we need. What we like. What works for us and what doesn’t. There cannot, and should not, be one universal script for success. So let’s change the story, shall we?
“The early bird gets the worm…and the night owl catches fireflies!”
This is the new motto I’ve created. And if you haven’t guessed it already— I’m a night owl. Like many owly humans, I’ve spent years feeling guilty about my late night tendencies. After all, people around me and messages everywhere were constantly telling me that early rising was chapter one in the “Book of Success”! It’s taken me a lot of years, research and trial and error, to be able to confidently say, “I beg to differ!”
I say, if it works to go to bed early and wake up early? GREAT! If it works better to go to bed late and wake up late? ALSO GREAT! If some other schedule works best? AMAZING! Do that. Let’s not follow our neighbour’s prescription— it wasn’t written for us! Let’s keep in mind that different people have different internal clocks. For example, neurodivergent individuals tend to have circadian rhythms that signal us to sleep at least 2 hours later than neurotypical people.* We really cannot assume that what works for one, works for all. So let’s all stop it with the judgement (of self and of others) and just allow the wisdom of our own brains, bodies and intricacies to guide our narrative as best we can, shall we?
And that’s just on the subject of sleep! We could call in infinite other topics here to illustrate the point, such as what kind of exercise, food or career choices are the most successful. Or which magic pills solve their indicated issues fastest. The best travel spot? The greatest Spiritual practice? We’d be arguing until the end of time. The point is, there is no rule book to achieving success. There is just what we know and decide is best for ourselves. And even that can change continuously!
So back to the New Year’s Resolutions. First off, I challenge us all to think about our Resolutions in a new light. Perhaps starting with some new and gentler phrasing for our goals, like “this year’s intentions” or “things that would bring me joy in 2024”.
Secondly, I suggest that our goals are based more on what we want to feel or experience, such as creativity or flow or newness or love or vibrancy or peace. This may look very different from previous year’s lists that featured very specific and finite goals. Now I’m not saying that specific goals or SMART goals are not valuable or don’t have their place. But maybe this set of intentions, which is meant to guide us for the entire year, allows for a bit more…intuitiveness. Maybe we don’t know the details of what will produce those desired feelings yet, and that’s ok, because we are us in the NOW, and not us in a week, a month or a year from now. If we make an outline so detailed that it blinds us from any new and interesting subplots that may arise along the journey, how will we know that we are being true to ourselves each and every day? We are constantly evolving based on our experiences, shifting values, new knowledge etc. Let’s allow our dreams to shift with us.
Ok. Thirdly. To be contradictory, I am going to set the one and only “rule” for this year’s intentions: it is to make our lists from our unique, authentic needs and desires. That is, from the truth of our heart, our inner wisdom, our honest knowing. Let’s not allow anyone to dictate what our methods, yearnings or dreams “should be”. Let’s tune in to what truly nourishes US!
To Recap:
1- Find a new title for your “New Year’s Resolutions”
2- Make your goals based on what you want to feel or experience this year, not necessarily listing finite goals.
3- Make sure each item on the list is based on your authentic needs and desires!
4- Bonus step: share your list in the comments below and on social media with #artofnonsenseintentions
If thinking about our goals in this way is hard imagine, as we fight against those pesky “shoulds and societal pressures”, we can start tapping into our inner voice in smaller ways. For example, making one small decision today based on a desire or need. Like saying no to someone asking for a favour when we need rest. Or buying that chocolate chip muffin for breakfast just because we want it. Perhaps it’s putting aside a non-urgent task to spend time in nature. If it still feels too big, we can start smaller: parting our hair on the opposite side to challenge our automatic responses, taking a different route when we head out, or wearing two differently coloured socks just for fun! The task is to feel in to what we are really craving, authentically, instead of following the engrained paths we’ve learned to follow.
After some practise, we can start making bigger changes. Perhaps asking that cool person we bump into every once in a while to hangout next time we see them. Or registering for a course simply for our personal interest and pleasure. Maybe digging into a new art medium or project that’s been calling for attention! Let’s start living more authentically, each day, as our unique SELVES. The more we do it, the more naturally it comes, and then the more of it we want. Mmm nothing like that good yummy self-nourishment!
Like the “early bird” saying that many of us have been reciting for years, it’s time to write our own stories. And I’m not just talking about early birds and night owls, there’s everything in between from swans to ducks to woodpeckers to hummingbirds to flamingos…and on and on!
And to each of you unique and wondrous creatures, please know, in your heart of hearts, that no matter what kind of bird you are— there is magic waiting for you…
Happy intention setting— don’t forget to share your list below and hashtag it on social media #artofnonsenseintentions
* For more information on circadian rhythm differences and delayed sleep phase syndrome in neurodivergent individuals, see ADDitude Magazine’s Article.
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Pssst- what I write in this blog is a reflection of my own ideas and experiences and/or interpretations of any referenced material. The content of this blog is for entertainment and/or informational purposes only. I am not an expert or therapist and cannot be held liable for any content provided or how it is used. Please enjoy at your own discretion. I reserve the right to change the content or management of this blog at any time. That said, I hope you enjoy it! © 2024 Kristy Anne Fae All Rights Reserved.
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