So I had a terrible week of sleep. In fact, I was so frustrated and miserable because of it, it was probably a good thing that my contact with people is severely limited right now. I apologize (and am grateful) to those who were subjected to the Sleepless Beast I became. It was glaringly obvious that some serious self-care was crucial if I was going to avoid literally biting heads off…
When you think about the term “self-care” it sounds super simple, doesn’t it? Oh, just take care of myself? Got it. Good. Great. For many humanoids however, self-care is a bit more of a feat than an easy or natural tendency. For those of you who have it down, awesome work— please keep it up and share your wisdom! For the rest of us, we’ll keep fumbling along, learning as we go, trying and sometimes succeeding sometimes failing, and that’s also awesome work, because we’re doing the best we can.
We’re in an interesting time right now where self-care may be needing an extra bright spotlight upon it. For some, added financial stress, for others isolation, perhaps deep loss and grief, health challenges, a hiatus of usual resources, a complete change of routine (including bedtime)… Whatever the struggles might be right now, self-care is likely ONE tool in the kit that is worth dusting off, or even taking the time to shine with an old rag.
Alas, many of our usual ways of practising self-care may have been bumped, shuffled, or knocked completely off the shelf in the midst of the planet’s turmoil. What is one to do? Self-care was hard enough already, and now we have to (almost if not) start from scratch in developing routines, practices, and whatever else to soothe ourselves? Here are my humble thoughts as I fumble through this journey myself. Also to mention, all of this can be applied to any situation or circumstance that alters life’s routines— not just during a pandemic.
- Take inventory of what worked before. What were the things you relied on for stress-reduction, mindfulness, health, peace, joy, fun, connection etc. If you can’t remember, try tracing back through your previous routines, maybe even consulting friends and family, or scanning back through social media pages or old agendas to jog your memory. What are you missing the most? What were the biggest pieces for you? I suggest you brainstorm it on paper…
- Take a new inventory of what you need now. A lot has changed, so your needs may very well have changed too. Maybe you used to consider “quiet-time” a necessity for self-care because your calendar was so full of social events you had to schedule in your well-needed you-time. Now, maybe the opposite is true, and you’re needing to more actively find ways to connect with others because the you-time is ahhhh-plenty. What is your heart, mind, body, and soul needing right now? Try keeping a journal throughout a day or two to note what you are lacking, needing, feeling, frustrated with, enjoying, etc. What thoughts are you noticing? What sensations are happening in your body? What are your tendencies and how do they make you feel? These noticings might give you clues to your deeper longings. A mindfulness or meditation practice may also be very helpful in revealing what your needs truly are. In any case, really notice and feel in. Dig deep!
- Get creative. Now we’re getting to the (hopefully) really fun stuff. Based on what you discovered in the first two steps, you can combine old and new self-care options to do the best you can to fulfill your current needs. If some of your beloved go-tos are not available right now, what substitutes can be made? If you relied on going to the gym to stay healthy and manage stress, perhaps you can instead try some outdoor activities or a home workout routine (there are plenty online or using apps!). The point is, find new ways of taking care of you. And I’m not just talking about easy or common sense ways— getting really creative might be needed, or at least benefited from. Look at your unique skills and strengths, your outside-the-box thinking, your heart’s deepest passions. I can’t tell you what these things are for you, but try asking yourself questions like: “What really makes me tick? What have I always wanted to do or try? Why haven’t I made time to do x, y, or z from that dust-gathering to-do list? Why did I ever stop doing (fill in the blank)? How can I make even one step of a goal or dream come true despite any current limitations? What can I do to bring some peace into my life right now? How can I solve that problem with what I already have? What do I know deep down that I’m needing?” The list goes on…but get curious and start looking under rocks, so to speak. Unless you’re on the beach, then looking under rocks might actually provide you with some new insight or surprising discoveries 😉
Let’s get back to the Beast. After the sleepless nights had accumulated to a gruesome mass, I decided I needed to put my creative self-love problem-solving cap on. I was missing the water therapy of my usual pool visits, my mind was cluttered from being alone with them too much, my bedtimes were all over the place with a lack of any sort of schedule, and the changing seasons had brought sunshine onto my eyelids earlier than I could cope with in the mornings…I set about on a rampage to destroy (or rather gently resolve in a zen way) these troubling problems.
I planned an at-home spa retreat. I reorganized and decluttered my apartment. I started a routine of listening to zen meditation talks over morning tea. I set an alarm to remind me of bedtime. And I dug out my fabric scraps and quilted together enough pieces to make a “blackout curtain” large and thick enough to block the morning sun. The curtain proved to require a lot of creativity and effort, but was definitely worth it. Plus it also got me excited about a number of other sewing projects I have waiting for the needle and thread (including a puppet from last week’s blog, so stay tuned), which fulfills another need of mine— second only to sleep— the need for creating!
Now everything might not be perfect, but remember, every bit helps. I’m happy to say the Beast has been subdued and my sleep and ensuing moods have definitely improved. I encourage you to also look at what needs of yours are going unmet, and to creatively put them to bed as well. Please feel free to comment below to share how you’re solving your self-care feats during this time!
Be and rest well.
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Pssst- what I write in this blog is a reflection of my own ideas and experiences and/or interpretations of any referenced material. The content of this blog is for entertainment and/or informational purposes only. I am not an expert or therapist and cannot be held liable for any content provided or how it is used. Please enjoy at your own discretion. I reserve the right to change the content or management of this blog at any time. That said, I hope you enjoy it! © 2020 Kristina Durst All Rights Reserved.
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